六级写作范文及点评：说一口地道的美国英语

　　俗话说,声音是第二张脸。声音优美能给他人留下良好的印象。因此,我们平时学习语言时应多注重自己的语音、语调。字正腔圆、不急不缓、自然大方才能给人留下好印象。
　　Speaking Effective American English

　　On job interviews when first conversing with an individual and when addressing small or large groups, the first few seconds are critical in setting the tone for how you’ll be perceived. If she has an annoying regional accent, uses incorrect grammar, has a limited vocabulary, and if she has an irritatingly sharp piercing voice, sounds whiny or bossy or doesn’t articulate her words clearly, it’s an immediate turn-off①. This isn’t someone who you would hire or proudly introduce to your friends and business associates. This doesn’t mean that everyone should try to sound like a professional actor or broadcaster. All of us have qualities unique to our own way of speaking, our individual voiceprint as distinctive as our fingerprints. Our voice is very personal and an important part of our identity. Some natural characteristics of our voice may be very appealing.

　　The idea is to take the voice with which you’ve been gifted and give it the very best sound that you can. With the right type of practice, by paying attention to the quality of your voice and by knowing how to properly express yourself, you’ll almost immediately improve your opportunities in job interviews, social situations, in selling, and in running a meeting or addressing groups of people.

　　Let’s say it again, it all begins with the instrument, your voice. If its sound and quality is flawed and needs improvement, that’s where you start. that’s what everyone hears whether in casual conversation or in making a major speech to a large audience. Pure vowel sounds, articulation, proper breathing, expressive speaking patterns, a pleasing vocal range, naturalness, all these will make you get twice the result with half the effort.

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　　行文点评

　　本文结构清晰，衔接自然。第一句话直接切入主题，引起读者的兴趣：你的声音决定了别人对你的印象。接下来连用两个if引导的从句从反面说明声音的重要性。进而作者笔锋一转，指出我们说话不需要像professional actor 或 broadcaster那么标准，我们的声音是个性化的,它是我们身份的重要特征。这时，读者可能会产生好奇：How to make our voice appealing?

　　针对这个问题，作者在第二段直接提出解决办法：要利用你声音的天赋。第一句话为全段的主题句，接下来围绕这个观点展开论述。最后一段作者用Let’s say it again进一步强调了声音的重要性，再次重申了自己的观点，深化了文章的主题。

　　好文妙译

　　说一口地道的美国英语

　　求职面试时,当你与他人第一次交谈时或在与少数或许多人谈话时,开始的几秒钟是重要的,因为它决定了别人对你的印象。如果她有严重的地方口音、语法错漏百出、词汇量有限；如果她声音刺耳,听起来像与人抱怨或发号施令或者吐字不清,就会立即引起人的反感。你不会雇用这种人或把这种人自豪地介绍给你的朋友或同事。但这并不是说每个人说起话来要像专业演员或播音员那样标准。我们每个人说话都有自己独特的方式,我们各自的声音就像我们的指纹一样独特。我们的声音是个性化的,而且它是我们身份的重要特征。我们声音的一些自然特质也许非常吸引人。

　　现在我们要讲的是利用你声音的天赋,尽量使其悦耳动听。只要经过适当的练习,注意你的音质,了解适当的表达方式,你就能在求职面试、社会交往、推销、组织会议或在众人前发言时立刻获得更多的机遇。

　　在此要强调的是,一切从你的声音这个工具开始。如果你的声音和音质有缺陷,需要改进,这就是你的出发点。因为无论在闲谈时或在对许多听众演讲时,你的声音首先为人熟知。元音字正腔圆,发音清晰,呼吸匀称,表达方式合适,声音悦耳,说话自然,所有这些都会使你事半功倍。

　　词汇斟酌

　　?perceive vt. 感知，感觉，察觉

　　?annoying a. 恼人的, 讨厌的

　　?regional accent 地方口音

　　?irritatingly ad. 刺激地, 使愤怒地

　　?piercing a. 刺骨的, 刺穿的

　　?whiny a. 好发牢骚的, 嘀咕不停的

　　?bossy a. 专横的

　　?articulate vt. ①明确有力地表达②清晰地吐(字)，清晰地发(音)

　　?associate n. 伙伴，同事，合伙人

　　?appealing a. 吸引人的

　　?flawed a. 有瑕疵的,有缺陷的

　　佳句临摹

　　①【注释】turn-off 厌烦或反感的人或事物

　　【临摹】Smelly feet are definitely a turn-off as far as I’m concerned.脚要是有味儿可真恶心，这是我的看法。

　　思如泉涌

　　Speech is silver, silence is gold. 能言是银，沉默是金。

　　The tongue is boneless but it breaks bones. 舌无骨却能折断骨。